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Performance reviews

I am pretty sure many of you who managed employees needed to write a recommodation letter. But what if that guy was a total waste of time? I found some quotes on another board and needed to steal that. Enjoy…
 

1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”

2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”

3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”

4. “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”

5. “When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”

6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”

8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an i****.”

9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”

10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”

11. “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”

12. “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”

13. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”

14. “He’s been working with glue too much.”

15. “He would argue with a sign-post.”

16. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”

17. “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”

18. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”

19. “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”

20. “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”

21. “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”

22. “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”

23. “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”

24. “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”

25. “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”

26. “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”

27. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”

28. “One neuron short of a synapse.”

29. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”

30. “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes.”

31. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

2 Responses to Performance reviews

  • Kato Oikari says:

    Hi Rhoody.
    You seems like a really funny guy. We’re soon moving to Dumaguete and I hope we get to go diving with eachother. And also have some beers. Keep your good sence of humor up.

    Best from Mr K.

  • thedude says:

    Hey, I donated my brain to science before I’m done using it. Any day now scientists will be examining my brain to see the effect of drinking equal to the displacement of the USS Missouri in beer before reaching the age of 35. Hopefully the check is in the mail for that one. I need more funds to continue my research.


    TheDude

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